And.. another one.

I know I haven't blogged much lately, I haven't had much to blog about. Anyway, remember a little while ago when I blogged about this? A little life lesson I needed to learn? Well once again Heavenly Father helped bring me back down to reality, helped me see that life is not as bad as it may seem. As hard as Trev and I work, there always seems to be something or another that we need to pay for. Money here, money there! We had an unexpected mistake on our taxes and ended up paying a lot of money yesterday. Needless to say it kind of bent us the wrong way. Whenever something like that happens we have a tendency to think the worst, pity me, we are so poor, yada.. yada...yada!

I went to the grocery store tonight to get some things for dinner and as I was walking through the store I kept thinking, one by one, as I filled my cart how much I hated spending money on food. How were we going to ever going to get ahead when all these added expenses kept popping up? Basically having a "woe is me" party at Smith's. All I wanted to do was get out of there, spending the least amount as possible. Even with my yellow tulips I had to have, the chocolate ice cream that was screaming my name as I walked passed, Trev's egg whites, Simply Orange orange juice etc.. I finally made it to the self check-out with a cart full of nonsense. I was over the moon when I walked to the register and saw a $1 off coupon for my orange juice. I was thrilled, like Mana from Heaven. As I was ringing up my groceries and I saw the dollars stacking up, I heard the sound of change being dropped in the change slot in the register next to me. As I looked up, I saw the sweetest old man, a bag on his back that looked like all of his belongings were inside. He had three packets of Top Ramen and he was frantically counting each penny hoping he had $.45 to pay for his three packs of $.15 noodles. I literally stopped in my tracks and just watched him. It was like Heavenly Father was screaming to me "Cassidy, knock it off". I debated back and forth, whether or not I should pay for his Top Ramen, of course I chickened out. I was afraid he would get offended if I did, so I ended up just leaving. I wanted so badly to hand him a $20 and buy him a hot dinner, or invite him over. The whole way home I felt sick, and am continuing to beat myself up right now as I type this. I should have helped him, why was I such a chicken?

I can tell you right now, I am going to make up for it this week by helping someone else. My life is not that bad, I have always had money when I have needed it. I can put gas in my car, I get to buy groceries and eat whenever I want. I can buy a cute pair of shoes when I see them on sale at Old Navy. I have fresh flowers in my apartment always. I have an adorable place to live and money to meet our needs. I am so grateful for opportunities like this, that show me I have a loving Heavenly Father who knows me and my needs and is there for me, always. I am grateful for my wonderful life, my truly amazing husband, my ability to work and make an income, the best family I've ever had, and for the gospel.

Happy Spring everyone!!

Xoxo,

CW